I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i need some magic done to my vagina
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
