That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
