Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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