we made out on top of his cat.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize