I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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