party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
