I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize