you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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