she smelled like a LAN party
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
