my mouth tastes like poor choices
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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