I wanna bring you to show and tell
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize