My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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