How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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