I bet he comes in French.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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