Define "chronic" masturbator.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My bed smells like the plague
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
