dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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