Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize