ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
