how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
