Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
