Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
