come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
