I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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