just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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