I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
wakey wakey hands off snakey
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
