i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize