her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
