I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
