We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
