didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
