I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
