i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
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