Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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