Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
