if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize