i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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