I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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