Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize