my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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