when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
