let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Acid is not a monday night drug
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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