see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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