Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
