I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
