Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
