At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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