Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
my poor anus
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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