You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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