I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
