I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
