i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
