He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
