Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
