he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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