I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
tell me about the fingering
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
