This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
