Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The air was thick with penises
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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