please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
