i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize