Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
