I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
