i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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