yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
