My first STD was from a foam party
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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