You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
