i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so let's talk penis.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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