And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
