we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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