Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
