Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
