OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
