Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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