THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
