Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
