No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize