Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
