Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize