So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
