will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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