Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
