Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
