Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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