I'm going to jail i love you
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
