oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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