Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
